OMOIYARI: THE JAPANESE SECRET TO A PEACEFUL SOCIETY

• Doing Things With The Other Person Always In Mind

There is a quiet spirit in Japan that visitors notice almost immediately, even before they learn the language or understand the culture. It is not found in laws or in government policies. It lives in the way people treat one another in ordinary, everyday moments. The Japanese call it *”Omoiyari”* — a deep sense of empathy, thoughtfulness, and consideration for others. At the heart of Omoiyari is one simple question that guides behavior: _“Am I hurting the other person in any way?”_

This question shapes how a Japanese person speaks, drives, works, and even uses their phone in public. It is the reason why a train filled with two hundred people can move in complete silence. Phones are switched to silent mode not because the law demands it, but because a ringing phone or a loud conversation is seen as an intrusion into someone else’s peace. To talk loudly on a call in a public space is considered disrespectful, because the comfort of the person next to you matters more than your need to be heard.

The same spirit shows on the roads. In many countries, including Nigeria, the car horn is used to greet, to hurry, to express frustration, and sometimes just to announce one’s presence. In Japan, horns are rarely heard. Drivers will wait patiently in traffic rather than disturb the calm of the street. The culture values silence so much that some car manufacturers are now experimenting with vehicles that do not even have horns. To them, unnecessary noise is not strength. It is a sign that you have not considered the people around you.

Omoiyari is also seen in the small, almost invisible acts of service that make life smoother for everyone. A shop attendant will wrap a purchased item carefully and present it with both hands, not just to complete a transaction, but to communicate respect. Pedestrians will wait at a red light even at two in the morning when no car is in sight, because rules exist to protect everyone, not just to be obeyed when someone is watching. After a football match at an international stadium, Japanese fans have been seen staying behind to pick up every bottle and wrapper in their section. They came to watch a game, not to clean, yet they understood that the space they used would be used by someone else after them. To leave it dirty would be to show a lack of care.

What makes this attitude powerful is that it is not forced. It is culture. From home and in school, children are taught that their actions have consequences for others. Discipline is not just about avoiding punishment. It is about developing the habit of asking, _“How will this affect the next person?”_ before you act. This is why public spaces in Japan feel safe, clean, and orderly. People do not wait for police or fines to make them behave well. They behave well because that is who they are.

There is much Nigeria can learn from this principle without losing our own warmth, energy, and identity. We are a people known for hospitality and generosity. Yet sometimes our enthusiasm spills over into noise, into litter, into impatience on the road, and into actions that put our own convenience above the comfort of others. If every driver paused before honking to ask whether it was necessary, our streets would be calmer. If every student thought about the next person before dropping trash, our schools and markets would be cleaner. If every person on social media considered whether a post could hurt someone before sharing it, our online spaces would be kinder.

Omoiyari teaches us that peace is not merely the absence of conflict. Peace is the active presence of consideration. It takes more strength to be quiet than to shout, more character to clean up than to walk away, and more love to think of another person before yourself. A nation is not built by big policies alone. It is built by millions of small, daily decisions to choose people over self.

The house we enter, we must keep clean. The people we meet, we must not hurt. When we begin to live with others in mind, we do not only build better communities. We become good ambassadors of the values we claim to hold, wherever we go in the world.

That is the quiet power of Omoiyari.

I am Dr Frank P Ombugadu still on at least 3 People Every Day